Tag Archives: university

Boredom = pointless blog post.

But I make no apologies. I’m bored and blogging somewhat relieves that boredom. Shurrup.

So, it’s only now that I’m finding myself in my bedroom without my desk that I’m realising how essential a desk is in a bedroom.

My room up North is too small for one. But I need my desk. Ironically, when I was at school – particularly that last year of school – I used to hate the thought of having to sit down at my desk and ‘do work’. I used to think of work as a chore (hell, I still will at uni no doubt), hence why I used to do a lot of my homework sitting cross-legged on my bed, like how I am sitting now.

But I think that’s the problem – we associate different things with different places. I used to think desk = schoolwork, therefore I preferred to steer clear of my desk. However, now it has become bed = the place where I sit all day chatting online/tumblring/blogging/youtubing, and because of this I am craving some other creative space. Somewhere to make things with glue and patterned paper and glitter, somewhere to write, somewhere to organise myself…

In this respect, I really want to get back down to my room at CH and sort out my books and things on that huuuuuuuge desk of mine. Of course there are many other reasons that I want to return too – the people, the parties, the foooood, the getting-away-from-here part of it all… 🙂 Yeah, I’ve fully convinced myself. Adelaide was never an option for me, and I don’t really see the point in doing a half-year transfer to Auckland. In my opinion, it’s probably best to get back down to Chch asap so that some form of normality can begin to take shape. My grades will otherwise likely be screwed, if not already after that first psych lecture…

In other news, it’s raining. A lot. It’s also my birthday soon. But sooner than that, I get to see you again on Weds 😀 Happyhappyhappy times! Although maybe not as happy as your time last night, heeyyyyyy? 😛 I kid! I just with I could’ve been there to witness it so I could effectively use it against you when next you accuse me of murdering my liver, hahaha.

I’m feeling Arctic Monkeys-ish:

PS. I wish I was a cat. They have the easiest, most perfect lives. And when I think of cats I think of Alex Boyd and NOW I HAVE THAT GODDAMNED CATSUIT IMAGE THING IN MY HEAD. GODDAMNIT GO AWAAAAAAAAAY. Grr. It’s just cruel that that even exists (no offense intended).


22-2-11 – my story.

My first week of living away from home went amazingly. Parties, outings, new friends, Homage, the best food…I already felt at home. So waking up on the morning of Tuesday, 22nd February, I really had no reason to believe my happy little bubble of life I was already accustomed to should be about to change. I even made it to breakfast that morning amidst my silly Monday night hangover, and did my first wash, and printed out my notes for that day’s lectures. Organisation on the second day of lectures? I know, what?

I sat through Anna’s sociology lecture with her for an hour at 11am as way of returning her act of kindness the previous day where she had endured my first geography lecture with me. And then at 12pm, we had our second psychology lecture. I was lost from the start, and when Anna said it was more like IB biology than psych, my mind – I’m ashamed to say – switched off of its own accord. Needless to say, the lecture theatre breathed an audible sigh of relief when our lecturer finished 7 minutes early. With our brains already turned to mush, Anna and I decided to treat ourselves to lunch at one of the on-campus cafés.

It was here that the happy hubbub of the lunch-hour took a drastic change for the worse. I can’t recall everything completely clearly, but I remember as I was standing in front of the curry counter waiting for Anna to pay, the floor beneath my feet began to move. To start with it felt like the kind of movement you’d feel walking on creaky floorboards in an old house, but soon (it must have only been seconds) we were having trouble standing upright. Some instinct of mine grabbed Anna’s arm and screamed to get down. We crouched together half-under a tiny table. I remember watching the 10 or so other people in the café get under their tables, everyone’s eyes wide with fear, the heavy lights swinging from side-to-side above our heads, the curry sloshing over the counter, the screams from outside… And then, in what was apparently 20 seconds (I lost all track of time), it was over. The power had gone out, but daylight meant there was enough light to see the destruction the earthquake had caused even inside this tiny building where we were. Like Anna, I distinctly recall the café’s owner observing the damage to his business and shaking his head in despair and also a sort of resignation as if to say “Here we go again.”

The quickness with which the earthquake happened meant I still didn’t really know what I had just experienced. One of the girls in the café said to Anna and I as we left, “That was probably about a 5. Welcome to Christchurch guys.” Even she, who clearly lived there, had no idea of the scale of the damage. Our first instinct was to leave, and it is this moment that I keep flashing back to – walking across the usually impossible-to-cross Ilam Road with cars barely moving, and looking behind me to see a huge swarm of students following us and all doing exactly the same thing – phoning their loved ones. By this point I had already txt my parents and Blake, but the congestion and damage to the phone-lines meant I had no idea whether they had got my messages or not.

As I followed Anna down the pathway to her halls of residence (they were the closest to us), the first aftershock hit. Again, the power of it made it nearly impossible to stand upright and the movement of the trees and windows around us made me realise just how much damage the earthquake could have caused. While waiting with Anna at R&R (her halls), I managed miraculously to get a call through to Blake. Amazingly, he was also fine. Getting a txt minutes later from a friend back in Auckland telling me the CBD looked ‘like a bomb had hit it’, I began to appreciate the full-scale of our lucky escapes.

I decided to run back to College House after making sure Anna was OK at R&R, and returned to find everyone huddled on the grass outside the tennis courts, each already sharing their own stories. After waiting for a while in the rain and the cold, the bursar informed us of the damage. There was a damaged stairwell on one of the houses which was inaccessible, as well as a split concrete beam above the dining hall and visible damage on the lawn. He told us our rooms were “a mess, but we’re not sure if that is due to the quake or not. Either way, go and tidy up a bit?” Even this small amount of humour was more than welcome to lighten the mood.

On my way up to my room, Dad managed to get a call through to me. I reassured them that I was OK, but as I opened my bedroom door I couldn’t help but to burst into tears. My photo frames were all over the floor (luckily only one of them smashed), and my jewellery and phone and lamp had been rudely thrown all over the place. I realise that the damage to my room is minute compared to what others have suffered, but the fact that all my belongings which I’d left neatly that morning had been broken and thrown everywhere by some unpredictable force of nature was completely horrible to see. As I was tidying up my things, placing everything on lower shelves, the second aftershock hit. This one was by far the most terrifying. Being on the third floor of the building, the movement was unbearable. I can’t effectively describe the sensation of have a ‘strong’ three-story building swaying beneath you. I saw my lamp and phone fall to the floor again (I don’t know how), and the moment the swaying stopped I ran outside onto the grass with everyone else.

Huddled in blankets and listening to someone’s battery radio, we began to gauge an understanding of the scale of this earthquake. In the hours following when the power eventually came back on, we were also able to watch the news and visually see the devastation of Christchurch CBD. You only had to glance around the faces in the common room to see that we were united in our utter disbelief and shock at the events of the afternoon.

Being unable to access my room because it was on top floor, we were all told to have sleepovers in bottom-floor rooms. This was pretty fun despite the circumstances. The tutors came in just before we went to bed to tell us of the drill in case of an emergency during the night. Talking about flushing toilets (we were having to conserve and boil water), one of them said, “It’s been generally agreed that ‘if it’s yellow let it mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down.'” And then the other tutor piped up, “But if it’s a big one, evacuate.” Everyone cracked up. She was clearly referring to a big aftershock, but yeah…I don’t need to explain where all our minds were at…

After a night of intermittent sleep and 14+ aftershocks, I got to briefly see Blake (and Nick) before starting on the long road-trip home to Auckland. I cannot thank Anna and her parents enough for getting me out of there. If I had had to stay another night or two to wait for flights out of Christchurch, I don’t think I’d have been the happiest of people. It was scary enough for one night, let alone continuing aftershocks still days afterwards. The 10+ hour journey from Christchurch to Picton to Wellington to Auckland to Blake’s was made so much better by Anna being there with me the whole time. I’d hate to imagine how I would have coped alone, so Anna, I am forever thankful 🙂 Also, thanks to Blake and fam for letting me stay for a few days before returning back up North, as well as the boys for our cute little dinner on Friday – it was fantastic to see you all so soon 🙂

And now I’m back home, pondering life. The university’s updates say that 14th March is the earliest re-start date they’re looking at, so I don’t know what my plan is until then. I’m bored here already (although it was good to see my family again), and I feel like I am definitely ready to move out of home – it’s just a question of when and where. I miss Christchurch already, but I can’t help but remind myself that returning to College House and uni down there won’t ever be quite the same as the week I experienced. It is so cruel how people’s lives can be ripped apart so brutally and suddenly. And in that respect, I count myself extremely lucky. I’ve been watching and reading the news every day and my thoughts are constantly with Cantabrians who are suffering from this horrendous act of nature. I know of people who have lost people, and I can only begin to imagine the pain and trauma that they must be experiencing. However, through this event we become stronger together. Nothing I write here could ever compare to the words of PM John Key, Mayor Bob Parker, or Supt. Dave Cliff – everything these three men have said over the past 6 days has been full of respect, encouragement, power and emotion, all at exactly the same time. It’s times like these that we can learn to see ourselves as lucky, even the most unlucky of us. We have support from all over the world – from Christchurch’s own Student Volunteer Army, to rescue teams from the UK, the USA and China. Everyone’s heart goes out to everyone else. We are all thinking of you Christchurch.

This is the first song I remember hearing post-quake (albeit on Friday afternoon in Blake’s car on the radio). But the lyrics ring true.


I shouldn’t really be blogging but I am.

It’s 12:56am. I’m in my room alone. I don’t know where my BFF is because she was talking to some cute guy which obvs I couldn’t do because I am all redlightredlightredlight. But that’s OK because I love my Blakie 🙂 I just need to see him soon. Like, real soon.

So yeah, it’s allg. Mum cried when she said goodbye which was weird. What’s also weird is trying to imagine studying at this desk of mine. It’s too unfamiliar and I have too great a view (in daylight) of guys playing frisbee and stuff on the grass. Yeeeeeeeah. Hahaha, but yesh, I’m gonna go to bed. I have to have  a tour of the campus tomorrow and stuffs which’ll be gooooood.

Also, the food is fantastic. I’ll probably be obese when you next see me so just shut up and don’t be mean if I am. Hahaha. Kool kids though, seriously. Nowhere near as scary as I thought it would be. I keep wanting to do capital ‘i’s. Strange. Also, everything’s been really loud so I can’t really even hear myself typing. But that’s OK because I’m going to bed now. I love you all.

Ps. Song of the moment and album I need to buy (Sigh No More):

Pps. Internet is well expensive. I paid like $20 for 2gb or something. Idk. But this is a rare/infrequent thing I’m giving you here. Enjoy. Blahblah, BED! Then breakfast in like 6/7hours. Omnom 😀


Be seeing you.

Ahh, last night at home for a while. Largely un-argumentative which is something. My sister was actually very nice to me. Maybe living away from home will mean we can become the kind of sisters that txt each other every now and then? It was hard saying goodbye to Dad too, but hopefully I’ll see him again in 7ish weeks. I’m actually sort of excited now 🙂 Being all packed up has made it more of a reality rather than an unknown something, plus you already being down there makes me want/need to hurry up and get down there too.

So really, bring on Wednesday! I won’t miss home too much I don’t think…it’s my friends and the familiarity of your house and Auckland that I’ll be sad to lose the most. But hopefully familiarity will set in soon enough down there 🙂 Plus it’s not forever. There’ll be heaps of chances to catch up with everyone 🙂

The one major downside, however, is that my internet allowance down there is crappo. I have 2GB a month and have to pay for any more. I guess I’ll just have to cut out my youtubing and endless streaming of music. And maybe facebook and tumblr a bit less frequently. So yeah, what I’m saying is blog posts may be more few and far between. But if you’re really cool you’ll have my email and textual details, so you’re more than welcome check that I’m still alive. I’d like that 🙂

And then of course, Valentine’s day. I hope you like that highly attractive picture of Regina that I posted on your facebook? 😉 Hahaha, I’m just so totally jealous. Not. We get cuddles and pizza on Friday. She doesn’t. HA! I love you though. You should stop worrying, that’s my job! Everything will work out just fine for you and for us baby, just you wait and see 🙂

Finally, Grammy’s! ARCADE FIRE GOT ALBUM OF THE YEEEEEEEEEAR!!! This makes me so happy 😀 They’re the most amazing of bands around at the moment. And The Black Keys got best alternative album and best rock song for ‘Tighten Up’, which I suppose I can live with. I do like them, but Arcade Fire are the actual bomb diggedy. And ‘The Suburbs’ is such an absolutely fantastic album, from beginning to end. I have many favourites, but I think this tops it:

And with that, The Prisoner style: “Be seeing you.”


Packing and leaving and stuff.

In short, packing SUCKS. Either that, or I just suck at it. But it’s fair that I can blame the activity of packing as being the cause of my stress today.

I’m forever complaining about not having enough clothes, but it’s only now that I’m attempting to fit the majority of the contents of my wardrobe and drawers into two suitcases that I’m realising I actually have a lot more clothes than I remembered. Most of them were at the back of the wardrobe and haven’t seen the light of day for months. I kinda had a bit of fun finding my wintery-ish clothes to pack too, although not so much fun fitting them into the suitcases. Hoodies and jeans are stupidly heavy and space-consuming. It makes sense what with jeans being more than twice the length of shorts and hoodies at least twice the thickness of t-shirts, but it’s still stupid. Look how full these things are already:

Also, my group of friends have gone out for dinner tonight. I wasn’t invited which hurts a bit (…okay a lot). It was quite probably a genuine misconception regarding me being back up North and not being able to go. But hell, last time to see my friends? I’d have bloody bussed/driven/flown down there! But I guess it’s alright. I’ll see some of them again soon. And at least I got to see most people on Friday, plus have lunch with the guys. They matter more really. Is that mean? Meh, I love my friends, but I’ve actually ended up spending more time with Blake’s boys during the summer. And we’ve made so many memories together even in the short space of a few months…that alone is a sure-fire sign of a solid friendship. I love you guys 🙂 (but Blake the most 😀 )

Well, last day at home tomorrow. Also happens to be Valentine’s Day. You got my card, I got yours…we’ll be happy enough 🙂 And what with it being your first day at CPIT it’s hardly likely to be the top of your priority list. But that’s OK, we have plenty more of these silly, commercial, so-today-it’s-ok-to-tell-you-I-love-you days to come. Actually, what I’m looking forward to more than tomorrow is Friday night. Pizzas at your new apartment? Yesh please 😀 Plus cuddles to relieve the initial worries of the first week. I cannot wait to be in your arms again 🙂

And this is my song du jour. ASDHFGKLSJAK, I will never stop loving these guys’ music. I’m forever thankful Boyd 😛


The official end.

So FUCK. Academic Awards Ceremony tomorrow. The final time everyone (mostly) will all be together in that good old auditorium at school. I’m having mixed feelings about the whole ordeal.

On one hand, I’m kinda apprehensive about it. It’s the last time…the LAST time…we’re all going to be together. What the hell? Since when did growing up start happening so fast? I’m not ready to say goodbye. The fact that we’re all moving on with our lives hasn’t really hit me yet, and I don’t think it will until tomorrow. I mean, Kawau wasn’t really a goodbye – that was only IB kids and we had Grad Dinner coming up. But then Grad Dinner wasn’t a final goodbye either because we all knew we had the whole summer ahead of us to catch up with people, and of course this Academic ceremony tomorrow still to come. Yet that Academic ceremony is tomorrow. Already. And it really is the last chance to see everyone before we all go off changing and growing up and making new friends. I don’t want to cry (mascara becomes a problem then…hahaha), but if I do I think I’m allowed to. Kristin has been – and will continue to be, hopefully – my family 🙂

And in this sense, I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow incredibly. Although, yes, it will be the ‘final goodbye’, it certainly doesn’t mean we’re never going to see each other again. A good group of us are in Christchurch together for starters, and it should be easy enough to see Auckland people as well as to keep in contact with everyone else what with  facebook and skype making communication so easy. It’ll also be good to see my old teachers tomorrow, as well as Marisa and any other year 13s that I like enough to say hello to 🙂

So overall, tomorrow should be a blast. I’ve never been this excited for an assembly before so it’s kinda weird, but maybe it’s true what they say about high school being the best years of your life. We just fail to realise it sometimes when we’re actually going through it. Also, I get to have a little lunch with you tomorrow before you leave in the evening. This is neeeeeeeeeeded…weeks apart suck bollocks.

This is another bloody good Hoosiers song:

Oh, and feel free to read this you nosey people 🙂


Well f**k ’em.

So today at dinner, my sister and mother decided to tell me that they can’t wait for me to leave home. My sister’s reasoning was that I am ‘just so bloody annoying’ and she ‘can’t stand’ to be around me, whilst my mother claims I ‘always say the wrong things’ and am ‘too sarcastic’ and ‘ungrateful’.

CUE RANT.

Now, I think I can safely assume that my apparent annoyingness (that’s not a word, but whatever) and unbearablility (wow, I’m on a role) are due to the fact that I supposedly am so sarcastic and untimely with the things I say when I’m at home. You must be thinking, OK wow…she must say some pretty radical things if they make her sister and mother want her to piss off already, but that’s the thing; they’re really not.

At dinner today I merely made some joke about my sister wanting something microwaved for 30 seconds. I said something like, “Ooh, sure you don’t want 35 seconds? Don’t know how good that microwave is…”, to which my mum exploded into a tirade about my ‘ungratefulness’ towards what I’m given (the microwave thing was the tiniest of fucking comments, gimme a break). My sister then shouted at me for making Mum shout, when really that’s Mum’s problem; the comment I made didn’t ask for any shouting at all. I took it all with a pinch of salt initially. I couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, I mean for fuck’s sake. Even now it all sounds so menial and unnecessary.

But that’s exactly what pisses me off about it all. Not so much the fact that my mother and sister want me out so desperately that they can’t quit telling me so during my last week at home; trust me, I want to be out of home more desperately than you’d believe. I’ve been wanting out for years. But no, you wanna know what really fucks me off about all this? The absolute pointlessness of it all! Fuuuuuuuuucking hell! This happens all the time. My insignificant, purely conversational comments are only intended to make someone laugh (admittedly it usually ends up being me at my own jokes, or Dad), but more importantly I just want to put a bit of a break in the daily so-called ‘conversation’ which, without fail, alternates between the subject of swimming to the subject of horses. Is that such a crime? It shouldn’t be, should it, yet my mother treats me as if I’ve nicknamed God ‘Satan’. She seems to have nothing better to do with her life than to be narrow-minded and bitter towards anything that doesn’t directly relate to or compliment her. Talk about mountains out of molehills, literally any excuse to shout her fucking head off and she’ll take it. I seriously think that for her, the more meaningless the spark, the more attractive it is. WHAT THE FUCK.

So yes, many of the apprehensions aforementioned in posts a couple of days ago about leaving home have evaporated in the light (if it can be called ‘light’) of tonight’s shit. I honestly think anywhere would be better than being stuck between these four walls with this combination of people.

And because I’m feeling a really weird kind of angry – I’m kinda amused by the stupidity of it all – here’s a gorgeous song which I rediscovered amongst my old-ish albums today. And it kinda works with the subject of this post. Kinda.:

 


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