Tag Archives: sleep

Why does my blog inspiration have to happen at night?

Seriously, 2am last night I was wide awake thinking of some rant thing I was going to do about Bebo being shit because of the whole ‘Top 16’ friends thing, and ‘Other Half of me’. I even turned the light on and was seconds away from turning my laptop on before I thought I thought better of it and chose sleep as more important. So now, it comes to my typical ‘blogging time of day’ and I’ve lost all inspiration for what could potentially have been a vaguely interesting post (I know right, interesting post? Is she mad?) But hey, maybe I’ll try sleeping at night and force my enthusiastic blogging bursts to occur at a kinder hour.

Well, I realised today that we’re not going to get a Valentine’s Day together this year. You move on the 11th and I don’t join you in the same city until the 15th. Those first few days/weeks are gonna be hectic too, undoubtedly, so I have no idea how much I’ll see of you at first before we settle into our routines. Not that I’m really in a position to complain; admist school and everything else last year we not only managed to spend Valentine’s Day together, but also pretty much every weekend. So I know I’m lucky 🙂 It would just be nice to spend our second Valentine’s Day together somehow though, rather than on completely separate land masses.

On a brighter note, I do get to spend time with you in three days time 😀 I cannot wait to see you!!! It’s been far too long (interpret that as you will Sheldon 😛 )

Finally, new favourite Adele song. The lyrics make me think of you :):

Sorry, what was that? You want to see a picture of my fingernails? Oh, sure! 😛

You’re welcome.

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You.

Last night was perfect. So perfect. We had the best cuddles (8 days apart is far too long to bear), and we had cute little presents for each other which were perfect in themselves because they show how we know we don’t have to try and impress each other – that something with meaning counts more than anything. Dinner was made perfect by your mother’s classic appearance and then our usual people-watching comments and conversations about life. And then our trip to the beach in the Swift with good music playing through the open window (thanks to my mixtape skills 😛 ). Cute walk/chase along the sand and then back in time to buy snacks for our movie. Empty theatre, best seats in the house, one of the best movies I’ve seen with exactly the right amount of lovey stuff to be cute, and tension to give me an excuse to hold your hand. Home late, then snuggles in bed with chocolate and bro’Town. Pillow talk, play fights, cute kisses and cuddles, then finally sleep-time in the best place in the entire universe – your room, your bed, right beside you.

You mean the absolute world to me bubs. Spending time with you makes me realise how worthless and boring and pointless everything else in life is. The only thing that matters is you, especially now. We have exams and we’re supposed to be studying and I’m trying…I really am. Apparently, these exams define our futures. To an extent, yes. But ultimately, it’s the people that make you who you are that make the hugest difference to where you end up and what you become. And for me, that person is you.  I love you so much. Always will. Thank you for always being here.


Things I think about:

– Whether making lists actually helps at all

– Whether school work is really worth all this excessive effort

– How next year’s going to play out

– Why I tell you everything

– Why I won’t tell you what the matter is

– The reason that I’m sad

– Why I blame you

– Why I can’t not talk to you

– The fact that I want you too much

– Reasons why I love you

– Why I get a silent response whenever I try to talk to my friends back home

– Why I ignore the ones who do try to talk to me

– Being forgotten

– Needing a camera

– Wanting more time to waste

– The things you say in your sleep

– The things I say in my sleep

– Whether they mean anything

– Losing my mind

– Bothering at all

– Leaving home

– The way you understand me

– Needing one other person to talk to who’ll actually listen

– Who will actually read this

– Who will care


Porridge and pyjamas.

Another Saturday night when I don’t have time to be doing this but I am anyway.

One slice of toast and mug of coffee for breakfast, ham roll and chips for lunch…why do I feel to full to eat a proper dinner? Oh wait, 1kg of gummy snakes? Yeah, that might be it 😛 I didn’t eat the whole 1kg though, you ate more (maybe?) and there’s still some left over anyway. This explains my need for porridge and golden syrup as a poor excuse for a Saturday night dinner in any case.

And the pyjamas? At 8:30pm? Well, you’re not here to talk to. No-one is in fact. House is empty. I’ve been out for the whole day so shouuuuuld really be trying to edit my WL essays now. But meh. Sitting in bed, snuggled in fluffy dressing gown and pyjamas, listening to cute songs, eating my porridge and reading old texts is a far better substitute.

And speaking of ‘old texts’, the first text you ever sent me? “Hehe, luv you 2”. How did we know we’d end up like this? I hate to be cliché and loveydovey, but destiny has got to have something to do with it. “You are my everything.” You’re mine too.

Porridge/pyjamas thingy: (OK, admittedly this isn’t taken in bed, but the idea’s still there…)

And cute music?

Oh and btw, I think we is cute 😀


Things.

After discovering I only had about 5 hours of today for which I could actually sensibly be awake for (because you’re not here to talk to), I made this little picture about you:

So many things remind me of you when you’re not here.
Things that you’d say, things that you’d laugh at, things you’d like and not like and want to rant about and just not bother with, things I’d want you to do with me, things you’d make fun of, things you’d secretly think are really cute, things that have happened that we’d talk about…

This is the first day in all that we’ve been together where we haven’t properly spoken. I miss your “Hello Panda”s 😦

But I’ve got something for you to come home to. You’ll like it a lot 🙂

Enjoy yourself, but hurry home. I feel so empty.


Guilty.

Why?

Because
          a) I’m doing this rather than the shitload of ‘real’ work I have to do
          b) I excessively tired, should be sleeping.
          c) I’m just generally failing.

What I want:

– You. Forever. Which I’ve got.
– You too, best friend. Two years without one is a crime.
– To not have to work for my money
– To have motivation/reason to bother trying
– Holidays everyday. It’s healthy to be happy. I’m happy without school. So simple, cut it.
– Real freedom.

What is annoying me massively at the moment:

– Teachers. Thinking IB = THE GREATER GOOD. No. It’s evil. It’s a killer.
– Work. School work. Every night? Fuck off. The best work is produced when you have your own time frame in which to do it. Don’t make me do it in one night. Or I won’t.
– “Talk to me about why you’re not working as hard as you used to.” No. You talk to me about why the fuck you’re being such a dickhead with your ‘new education ideas’. Ehh, fuck you. Do you remember what a life is?

Let them be happy. Don’t break their dreams. Because that would break their hearts.
Love conquers all.


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