Tag Archives: rant

Well f**k ’em.

So today at dinner, my sister and mother decided to tell me that they can’t wait for me to leave home. My sister’s reasoning was that I am ‘just so bloody annoying’ and she ‘can’t stand’ to be around me, whilst my mother claims I ‘always say the wrong things’ and am ‘too sarcastic’ and ‘ungrateful’.

CUE RANT.

Now, I think I can safely assume that my apparent annoyingness (that’s not a word, but whatever) and unbearablility (wow, I’m on a role) are due to the fact that I supposedly am so sarcastic and untimely with the things I say when I’m at home. You must be thinking, OK wow…she must say some pretty radical things if they make her sister and mother want her to piss off already, but that’s the thing; they’re really not.

At dinner today I merely made some joke about my sister wanting something microwaved for 30 seconds. I said something like, “Ooh, sure you don’t want 35 seconds? Don’t know how good that microwave is…”, to which my mum exploded into a tirade about my ‘ungratefulness’ towards what I’m given (the microwave thing was the tiniest of fucking comments, gimme a break). My sister then shouted at me for making Mum shout, when really that’s Mum’s problem; the comment I made didn’t ask for any shouting at all. I took it all with a pinch of salt initially. I couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, I mean for fuck’s sake. Even now it all sounds so menial and unnecessary.

But that’s exactly what pisses me off about it all. Not so much the fact that my mother and sister want me out so desperately that they can’t quit telling me so during my last week at home; trust me, I want to be out of home more desperately than you’d believe. I’ve been wanting out for years. But no, you wanna know what really fucks me off about all this? The absolute pointlessness of it all! Fuuuuuuuuucking hell! This happens all the time. My insignificant, purely conversational comments are only intended to make someone laugh (admittedly it usually ends up being me at my own jokes, or Dad), but more importantly I just want to put a bit of a break in the daily so-called ‘conversation’ which, without fail, alternates between the subject of swimming to the subject of horses. Is that such a crime? It shouldn’t be, should it, yet my mother treats me as if I’ve nicknamed God ‘Satan’. She seems to have nothing better to do with her life than to be narrow-minded and bitter towards anything that doesn’t directly relate to or compliment her. Talk about mountains out of molehills, literally any excuse to shout her fucking head off and she’ll take it. I seriously think that for her, the more meaningless the spark, the more attractive it is. WHAT THE FUCK.

So yes, many of the apprehensions aforementioned in posts a couple of days ago about leaving home have evaporated in the light (if it can be called ‘light’) of tonight’s shit. I honestly think anywhere would be better than being stuck between these four walls with this combination of people.

And because I’m feeling a really weird kind of angry – I’m kinda amused by the stupidity of it all – here’s a gorgeous song which I rediscovered amongst my old-ish albums today. And it kinda works with the subject of this post. Kinda.:

 

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I wish it was winter. This is a long post.

But anyway, if it was winter, today I wouldn’t have:

– Procrastinated getting up until 12pm because my room with closed blinds was so much cooler than the inevitable sun outside

– Sat inside printing off photos and sticking them on my diary because it was too hot outside

– Eventually ventured outside due to the dogs’ insistent begging and then wound up in an unfit, sweaty and muddy heap after throwing sticks into the waterhole for the dogs to fetch

– Had to eat cereal for lunch and a salad for dinner because the mere thought of hot food made me overheat

– Be currently sitting here being mauled by mosquitoes

– Have had to put off my violining all day because it’s been too hot.

So yes, this is a miserable and bleh post, but whatever. I’ve been stuck at home all day with no car because I’ve now officially sold mine to my parents. And even if I had gone out today, I’d have run into all the Waitangi bloody shitty crap out in Paihia.

Also, I miss you. Part of me is happy that it’s not too long until I get to see you again; Friday is less than a week away. But Friday being so close also means that you’re leaving in less than a week. And sure, I’m leaving a few days after that to be close to you again but, that’s the thing. I’m leaving home. In a week and a half.

It’s horrible thinking about it. A few months ago I was incredibly excited. Hey, even a few weeks ago when I actually went and saw Christchurch for the first time, even then I was still keen. And part of me is now. But, there’s a larger part of me that is fucking scared shitless (whenever I see that written down I always misread it as ‘shirtless’, haha anywaaay…) I know I’ve spoken to you about all this and you’ve told me that it’ll all be fine. This is something we have to do to be able to be happy and, well, proper adults eventually. I just wish I had a bit more of an idea of what to expect. From the CH BBQ a week ago I managed to gauge that there’s lots of drinking and parties, Orientation Week is hell and a definite time to simply forget about your dignity, and the ruling about no glass bottles on campus is strictly enforced (so beer cans it is). I suppose I was being unfair in expecting that someone would, at some point, sit me down and lecture me about exactly what student life consists of. No-one can do that because it ends up being different for everyone. You and I are going to have totally different experiences purely based on where we’re living, let alone what and where we’re studying. Anna and I, although taking similar subjects at the same uni, we’re living in slightly different halls so therefore will have different overall experiences. Hell, even Grace and I – we’re staying at the same halls and attending the same uni, sure – but I already know that her lectures are way more intense and demanding than mine.

So yeah, it’s gonna be a completely unique little journey. There will, of course, be high points and low points (no telling how low with the length of time Christchurch’s aftershocks have been predicted to go on for, but let’s hope not too bad). However, I’ve got to remember that CH will only be for a year, potentially two. Hell, I’ll probably be sad to leave the place! And then my third year is open to all sorts of options – student apartment or flatting, and there’s no telling who with.

And speaking of people and friends, that’s a final huge factor in my apprehensions. I’m very glad I got to see all my important people last week (except Sacha, goddamnit!!!). There are a bunch of other people I’d like to see before I – and they – disappear for the year, but hopefully Friday will provide a good last chance to talk to them. There would have been other chances to see people before they left if I had actually been invited to certain events, but maybe this is a bit of an awkward subject to bring up so publicly. I’ll save it for private face-to-face rants. Ha, now doncha wish you spoke to me more 😉

Soooooo. I suppose this little HUGE rant is more for myself than anyone else. Although maybe other people are in the same boat as me in respect to university stuff. In fact, no, I know some people are and I find that comforting 🙂 If I go in thinking positively, things can’t go too badly. I hope.

In the meantime, I still miss you (yes, I said this already in the third paragraph or something, but hey, this has taken a while to write). However, I’m glad you let me copy your Regina CDs, because this one’s nice:


Blog vs. Blog.

So obviously, I use WordPress. However, I know all of my other friends with blogs use tumblr. I use tumblr to find a lot of the pictures and quotes that I use, but essentially, which is best?

IMO:

WordPress

  • You can make it as personal or as impersonal as you want. Obviously I choose personal. But from the customisable theme you can use to the huge length of the posts you can submit, it’s entirely up to the author. Which is great.
  • On the theme of ‘themes’, there’s heaps. Absolutely bloody heaps. And yours can be entirely your own (as mine is) thanks to the interchangeable headers and toolbars and…ahh, everything!
  • Recently, they developed the new sharing options. This means anyone who reads your blog and likes it can repost to facebook, reddit, digg, WordPress…well, just about anywhere. (Except tumblr actually, ha!) But that’s bloody good for blog publicity.
  • Anyone can comment (if you want them to). Of course there’s a range of security filters you can use, but if you want an easily accessible comment thread, it’s right there. Easy.
  • You don’t have to be a WordPress blogger to ‘like’ a post.
  • Awesome support community. WordPress constantly – and I mean constantly – updates you with the newest themes and features without spamming your inbox. So, you’re never out-of-date…unless you choose to be.
  • Integrated stats system. Handy and very swish.
  • The only ads you get are those for other WordPress blogger’s blogs. This is a win for both parties.
  • Everything’s so bloody easy to access! Not as in tumblr (as you’ll see below…)

tumblr.

  • It’s free to host your own domain name. At WordPress it costs US$10/15 per year (which is still nothing really). Although, let’s face it, if you’re a serious blogger wanting your own domain name, hopefully you won’t be so cheap as to opt for a free one. It wouldn’t look too good, really.
  • Sure, it has pretty themes. But not as many. And some of them (from what I’ve experienced) are extremely complex and annoying to navigate around.
  • You have to post things separately. Admittedly, this does look good on the actual tumblr, but when you’ve linked your tumblr account to your facebook and everything you post spams my homepage – no thanks. WordPress allows you to post youtube clips, photos and text all in one, hence keeping your facey friends a little bit happier.
  • Commenting sucks. Unless you have a tumblr account, you can’t comment or do anything to show people you like their posts. It’s bloody annoying actually.
  • I tried creating a tumblr account once, and I’ll admit I was very impatient. But I have to say, despite all the OVERSIZED FONTS declaring on the home-page etc about how quick and easy it would be for me to post photos/quotes/music/text, I posted three photos before it came up with an error message. I didn’t even waste my time reading it. I was out of there.
  • So that leads me to this – it’s easy to delete your tumblr. GOOD.
  • And finally, I’ve read on many people’s tumblrs about how annoyed they are at “tumblr’s broken again” or “Where have you gone tumblr dashboard???” I can honestly say that I have never experience one single fault with WordPress. The most major dilemma I experienced was when a smiley face didn’t publish itself as an emoticon. But that was easily fixed, because hey! I can easily navigate my way around WordPress!

So there we go. This was actually more of an excuse for a rant/procrastination from study, but my highly biased opinion still stands. WordPress over tumblr. Although, I do like other people’s tumblrs. I just admire their persistence. And I absolutely definitely prefer the freedom of expression that a WordPress blog gives you. I could write ’til the cows come home. And I think with this post, I might have…

(Some of the facts/opinions/observations/experiences included above were stolen from this article http://www.blog-install.com/wordpress-vs-tumblr-which-blogging-platform-to-choose.html. Just to cover my footsteps with plagiarism.)

PS. How ironic is that? I go to publish this post and it tells me “Writes to the service have been disabled, we will be bringing everything back online ASAP.” That is absolutely typical… 😛


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