Tag Archives: friends

Be seeing you.

Ahh, last night at home for a while. Largely un-argumentative which is something. My sister was actually very nice to me. Maybe living away from home will mean we can become the kind of sisters that txt each other every now and then? It was hard saying goodbye to Dad too, but hopefully I’ll see him again in 7ish weeks. I’m actually sort of excited now 🙂 Being all packed up has made it more of a reality rather than an unknown something, plus you already being down there makes me want/need to hurry up and get down there too.

So really, bring on Wednesday! I won’t miss home too much I don’t think…it’s my friends and the familiarity of your house and Auckland that I’ll be sad to lose the most. But hopefully familiarity will set in soon enough down there 🙂 Plus it’s not forever. There’ll be heaps of chances to catch up with everyone 🙂

The one major downside, however, is that my internet allowance down there is crappo. I have 2GB a month and have to pay for any more. I guess I’ll just have to cut out my youtubing and endless streaming of music. And maybe facebook and tumblr a bit less frequently. So yeah, what I’m saying is blog posts may be more few and far between. But if you’re really cool you’ll have my email and textual details, so you’re more than welcome check that I’m still alive. I’d like that 🙂

And then of course, Valentine’s day. I hope you like that highly attractive picture of Regina that I posted on your facebook? 😉 Hahaha, I’m just so totally jealous. Not. We get cuddles and pizza on Friday. She doesn’t. HA! I love you though. You should stop worrying, that’s my job! Everything will work out just fine for you and for us baby, just you wait and see 🙂

Finally, Grammy’s! ARCADE FIRE GOT ALBUM OF THE YEEEEEEEEEAR!!! This makes me so happy 😀 They’re the most amazing of bands around at the moment. And The Black Keys got best alternative album and best rock song for ‘Tighten Up’, which I suppose I can live with. I do like them, but Arcade Fire are the actual bomb diggedy. And ‘The Suburbs’ is such an absolutely fantastic album, from beginning to end. I have many favourites, but I think this tops it:

And with that, The Prisoner style: “Be seeing you.”


Packing and leaving and stuff.

In short, packing SUCKS. Either that, or I just suck at it. But it’s fair that I can blame the activity of packing as being the cause of my stress today.

I’m forever complaining about not having enough clothes, but it’s only now that I’m attempting to fit the majority of the contents of my wardrobe and drawers into two suitcases that I’m realising I actually have a lot more clothes than I remembered. Most of them were at the back of the wardrobe and haven’t seen the light of day for months. I kinda had a bit of fun finding my wintery-ish clothes to pack too, although not so much fun fitting them into the suitcases. Hoodies and jeans are stupidly heavy and space-consuming. It makes sense what with jeans being more than twice the length of shorts and hoodies at least twice the thickness of t-shirts, but it’s still stupid. Look how full these things are already:

Also, my group of friends have gone out for dinner tonight. I wasn’t invited which hurts a bit (…okay a lot). It was quite probably a genuine misconception regarding me being back up North and not being able to go. But hell, last time to see my friends? I’d have bloody bussed/driven/flown down there! But I guess it’s alright. I’ll see some of them again soon. And at least I got to see most people on Friday, plus have lunch with the guys. They matter more really. Is that mean? Meh, I love my friends, but I’ve actually ended up spending more time with Blake’s boys during the summer. And we’ve made so many memories together even in the short space of a few months…that alone is a sure-fire sign of a solid friendship. I love you guys 🙂 (but Blake the most 😀 )

Well, last day at home tomorrow. Also happens to be Valentine’s Day. You got my card, I got yours…we’ll be happy enough 🙂 And what with it being your first day at CPIT it’s hardly likely to be the top of your priority list. But that’s OK, we have plenty more of these silly, commercial, so-today-it’s-ok-to-tell-you-I-love-you days to come. Actually, what I’m looking forward to more than tomorrow is Friday night. Pizzas at your new apartment? Yesh please 😀 Plus cuddles to relieve the initial worries of the first week. I cannot wait to be in your arms again 🙂

And this is my song du jour. ASDHFGKLSJAK, I will never stop loving these guys’ music. I’m forever thankful Boyd 😛


The official end.

So FUCK. Academic Awards Ceremony tomorrow. The final time everyone (mostly) will all be together in that good old auditorium at school. I’m having mixed feelings about the whole ordeal.

On one hand, I’m kinda apprehensive about it. It’s the last time…the LAST time…we’re all going to be together. What the hell? Since when did growing up start happening so fast? I’m not ready to say goodbye. The fact that we’re all moving on with our lives hasn’t really hit me yet, and I don’t think it will until tomorrow. I mean, Kawau wasn’t really a goodbye – that was only IB kids and we had Grad Dinner coming up. But then Grad Dinner wasn’t a final goodbye either because we all knew we had the whole summer ahead of us to catch up with people, and of course this Academic ceremony tomorrow still to come. Yet that Academic ceremony is tomorrow. Already. And it really is the last chance to see everyone before we all go off changing and growing up and making new friends. I don’t want to cry (mascara becomes a problem then…hahaha), but if I do I think I’m allowed to. Kristin has been – and will continue to be, hopefully – my family 🙂

And in this sense, I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow incredibly. Although, yes, it will be the ‘final goodbye’, it certainly doesn’t mean we’re never going to see each other again. A good group of us are in Christchurch together for starters, and it should be easy enough to see Auckland people as well as to keep in contact with everyone else what with  facebook and skype making communication so easy. It’ll also be good to see my old teachers tomorrow, as well as Marisa and any other year 13s that I like enough to say hello to 🙂

So overall, tomorrow should be a blast. I’ve never been this excited for an assembly before so it’s kinda weird, but maybe it’s true what they say about high school being the best years of your life. We just fail to realise it sometimes when we’re actually going through it. Also, I get to have a little lunch with you tomorrow before you leave in the evening. This is neeeeeeeeeeded…weeks apart suck bollocks.

This is another bloody good Hoosiers song:

Oh, and feel free to read this you nosey people 🙂


Calloused violin fingers.

I’ve been playing my violin for a good two-and-a-half hours and it feels so goooooooooooood! I’m very out of practice with the whole ‘practicing violin’ idea, but I’m enjoying being able to play for hours on end without really having to have achieved something by the end. Having not had a violin teacher for about 5 months (I stopped having lessons before exams), it’s nice to now have a repertoire of pieces I can play if I want to, but there’s no desperate need to get things perfect by a certain date or performance. Sure, I’m trying to get things right and perfect, but it’s not like I feel I have to stress over a bar of notes if it just doesn’t seem to be coming right. I’ve got the time to just put it down and play something else, and then pick it up and try it again the next day if I want.

I mentioned a few posts ago that I was wanting to learn to play some proper ‘songs’, not just classical stuff. Well, inspired by The Decemberists, I’ve been working my way through a Caledonian fiddle book I discovered I owned, as well as trying some of the solos in their songs (namely the song at the end of this post). The point of me telling you all this is, really, just to let you know I’m happy I’ve revived my passion for violin. I miss playing in orchestras and I especially miss the music courses I used to go on. But until I manage to find the musical bums at uni, this stuff is doing me just fiiiiine 🙂

All of the above fits in very well with what I had the pleasure of waking up to this morning, as a matter of fact: a beautiful email from an old friend of mine whom I met on one of these said ‘music courses’. It’s little things like sending an email to someone who you haven’t spoken to for ages than can truly make someone’s day. Just knowing that there is someone else out there – someone you know but have lost contact with and don’t see everyday – that still cares and hasn’t forgotten about you, it makes you feel worth a little bit more. And I definitely needed this little boost after yesterday, so thank you dear friend, it means a lot 🙂

Annnnnd I would love to post a little bit o’ music here, but I was greeted with a lovely message from youtube which basically told me that my internet is now suffering too badly to even be able to open the youtube homepage. Beautiful. Oh well, by the time my internet renews I’ll be enjoying university internet access 🙂 Fingers crossed that I won’t again have to go weeks without my darling youtube…


I wish it was winter. This is a long post.

But anyway, if it was winter, today I wouldn’t have:

– Procrastinated getting up until 12pm because my room with closed blinds was so much cooler than the inevitable sun outside

– Sat inside printing off photos and sticking them on my diary because it was too hot outside

– Eventually ventured outside due to the dogs’ insistent begging and then wound up in an unfit, sweaty and muddy heap after throwing sticks into the waterhole for the dogs to fetch

– Had to eat cereal for lunch and a salad for dinner because the mere thought of hot food made me overheat

– Be currently sitting here being mauled by mosquitoes

– Have had to put off my violining all day because it’s been too hot.

So yes, this is a miserable and bleh post, but whatever. I’ve been stuck at home all day with no car because I’ve now officially sold mine to my parents. And even if I had gone out today, I’d have run into all the Waitangi bloody shitty crap out in Paihia.

Also, I miss you. Part of me is happy that it’s not too long until I get to see you again; Friday is less than a week away. But Friday being so close also means that you’re leaving in less than a week. And sure, I’m leaving a few days after that to be close to you again but, that’s the thing. I’m leaving home. In a week and a half.

It’s horrible thinking about it. A few months ago I was incredibly excited. Hey, even a few weeks ago when I actually went and saw Christchurch for the first time, even then I was still keen. And part of me is now. But, there’s a larger part of me that is fucking scared shitless (whenever I see that written down I always misread it as ‘shirtless’, haha anywaaay…) I know I’ve spoken to you about all this and you’ve told me that it’ll all be fine. This is something we have to do to be able to be happy and, well, proper adults eventually. I just wish I had a bit more of an idea of what to expect. From the CH BBQ a week ago I managed to gauge that there’s lots of drinking and parties, Orientation Week is hell and a definite time to simply forget about your dignity, and the ruling about no glass bottles on campus is strictly enforced (so beer cans it is). I suppose I was being unfair in expecting that someone would, at some point, sit me down and lecture me about exactly what student life consists of. No-one can do that because it ends up being different for everyone. You and I are going to have totally different experiences purely based on where we’re living, let alone what and where we’re studying. Anna and I, although taking similar subjects at the same uni, we’re living in slightly different halls so therefore will have different overall experiences. Hell, even Grace and I – we’re staying at the same halls and attending the same uni, sure – but I already know that her lectures are way more intense and demanding than mine.

So yeah, it’s gonna be a completely unique little journey. There will, of course, be high points and low points (no telling how low with the length of time Christchurch’s aftershocks have been predicted to go on for, but let’s hope not too bad). However, I’ve got to remember that CH will only be for a year, potentially two. Hell, I’ll probably be sad to leave the place! And then my third year is open to all sorts of options – student apartment or flatting, and there’s no telling who with.

And speaking of people and friends, that’s a final huge factor in my apprehensions. I’m very glad I got to see all my important people last week (except Sacha, goddamnit!!!). There are a bunch of other people I’d like to see before I – and they – disappear for the year, but hopefully Friday will provide a good last chance to talk to them. There would have been other chances to see people before they left if I had actually been invited to certain events, but maybe this is a bit of an awkward subject to bring up so publicly. I’ll save it for private face-to-face rants. Ha, now doncha wish you spoke to me more 😉

Soooooo. I suppose this little HUGE rant is more for myself than anyone else. Although maybe other people are in the same boat as me in respect to university stuff. In fact, no, I know some people are and I find that comforting 🙂 If I go in thinking positively, things can’t go too badly. I hope.

In the meantime, I still miss you (yes, I said this already in the third paragraph or something, but hey, this has taken a while to write). However, I’m glad you let me copy your Regina CDs, because this one’s nice:


Flashback…

to when my sister and I were about 4 and 7 years old respectively, and we’d follow our parents around home furniture and carpet stores choosing which bathrooms we’d have, and which kitchens, and which carpets we’d have in which rooms when we grew up and had a house together. Oh for those young innocent times again 🙂

This thought actually came to me last night while I was lying in bed wide-awake at 2am (yet again). I resisted the urge to blog about it then as it would further induce my sleepless night, but I still have this cute little image in my head of me being a cute kid and best friends with my sister (I know, once upon a time…) I wish there was a way to digitally insert ‘mind pictures’ onto here. It’d be a cute little picture, but well…I can’t draw so you’re going to have to do with imagining it yourself.

So anyway, today I have the house to myself. This would be exciting if I could have friends over, but seeing as they’re all at least a 3 hour drive away, that’s not really possible. It’s raining too, so I’ll probably end up finally getting this scholarship application done (maybe…)

Also, 5 days til I get to see you!!!! 😀 I’m so excited! I mean, it will have been literally a month since I last stayed with you. I’m also looking forward to it because being down in Auckland means I can see my other special people too 🙂 And I have my College House BBQ to go to. Ahh, it’s all looking up in a few days 🙂

Annnnd I discovered this song yesterday (using this website, which I find pretty cool). However, I tried listening to some other Neutral Milk Hotel stuff and I uhh…well, really couldn’t stand it. This one, however, (oh and Holland, 1954), are really beautiful. Just listen to the lyrics… 🙂


Help, I’m alive.

What’s on your mind? (phrase inspired by facebook)

The moment when you swallow your pride and break the silence between you and a friend you’ve been meaning to speak to for a long time.

It feels gooooooooood. Like a huge burden has been lifted from my life. The burden feels laden with guilt. I don’t know if that’s right or not. But I suppose it doesn’t really matter. I feel relieved and happier, despite the fact it’s 1am and I should be tired. But of course I’m not tired; I couldn’t sleep til 4am last night so consequently didn’t arise til 11am the following morning. My life is slowly becoming nocturnal. This isn’t a good thing, but I have no real reason to stop it from becoming that way. I talk to you at night, I blog at night, I do all my thinking at night. Daytime seems to sort of exist for the pure purpose that I need something to keep me physically alive – I’ll eat and read and play music and watch Friends and Family Guy. That’s literally it.

Conclusion: daytime is for physical wellbeing, nighttime is for mental wellbeing.

So, help, I’m alive. Just.

(Just FYI, this is one of my favourite songs in the entire world. Especially this version. It’s so tenderly beautiful.)


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