It’s 12:56am. I’m in my room alone. I don’t know where my BFF is because she was talking to some cute guy which obvs I couldn’t do because I am all redlightredlightredlight. But that’s OK because I love my Blakie 🙂 I just need to see him soon. Like, real soon.
So yeah, it’s allg. Mum cried when she said goodbye which was weird. What’s also weird is trying to imagine studying at this desk of mine. It’s too unfamiliar and I have too great a view (in daylight) of guys playing frisbee and stuff on the grass. Yeeeeeeeah. Hahaha, but yesh, I’m gonna go to bed. I have to have a tour of the campus tomorrow and stuffs which’ll be gooooood.
Also, the food is fantastic. I’ll probably be obese when you next see me so just shut up and don’t be mean if I am. Hahaha. Kool kids though, seriously. Nowhere near as scary as I thought it would be. I keep wanting to do capital ‘i’s. Strange. Also, everything’s been really loud so I can’t really even hear myself typing. But that’s OK because I’m going to bed now. I love you all.
Ps. Song of the moment and album I need to buy (Sigh No More):
Pps. Internet is well expensive. I paid like $20 for 2gb or something. Idk. But this is a rare/infrequent thing I’m giving you here. Enjoy. Blahblah, BED! Then breakfast in like 6/7hours. Omnom 😀
So one year older. And the difference? Nothing. Nothing apart from more strangers looking at my driver’s license, judging, contemplating, reluctantly giving in and letting me buy my shit. It is so strange though, how it happens in a day. Three days ago I was pretty much a year older. Except for those 3 days. If those three days mysteriously evaporated into an infinite expanse of history, then those three days would not have existed. But legally, fair enough. But mentally? What’s the difference? Three days make a difference? I grew up in those three days? No, I don’t think I did. If anything, I grew younger. I lost my maturity because of the excitement of knowing that without having to do anything, in three days I was going to be universally acknowledged as ‘mature enough’. So I made no effort. I still argued, insulted, hated, loved and missed. But I also still had you. You to anchor me. Make me real. Because without you, there would be a difference. Us, we. We don’t need meaningless gifts or insignificant conversation. We don’t need to be judged or told what’s the right thing to do. We just need us. Us and our precious time spent together, wasted together. Immaturely, drunk and lost together. We make time ours. Because it doesn’t matter. All I need is you. You’re what matters.
You are the difference.
Two years have gone now
Can’t relate to the never-ending
Games that you play
As desire passes through
And you’re open to the truth
I hope you understand
And your love
Is standing next to me
Is standing next to me.’
“As I grew older I became a drunk. Why? Because I like ecstasy of the mind.”
– Jack Kerouac
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
– Frank Sinatra