I fall…

…deeper and deeper in love with you every day, hour and minute, whether we’re together or apart. Seriously, there’s no words that can or will ever be able to describe what you mean to me. I know others are probably reading this and thinking, ‘Oh here she goes, another soppy lovey-dovey post’, but baby, I don’t know how else I can tell you. And when I’m sitting here at home without you on a Friday night, in your pyjamas and with my big bear (miserable enough image?), you’re all I can think about, therefore it makes sense to write about you. I need to.

Today you made me so proud. I know you didn’t mean to, it wasn’t your aim. You don’t sit up there on that stage thinking about what others think of you because that’s not how you are. You’re just absolutely amazing, I don’t know how to put it into words. I can’t help but look and you and think how lucky I am. Everything about your personality, makes you you, and by God, it makes you the best person – heart and soul – in the entire fucking universe.

And I don’t actually care that I’m sitting here right now drowning in my silly tears. I’m allowed to, anyone is. Life is a complete turmoil of emotion at the moment, and I think today was one of the few occasions over the next couple of months which landmarks our changing lives. I’m not about to try and give a Bwendan Kelly speech here, but I have to just get these little thoughts out of my head.

It’s not until you actually experience the commissioning of next year’s prefects, not until you actually have your final ever day of a complete term at school, that you fully appreciate how far you’ve come. For me, I know that despite having only been at Kristin since last year, I have found my true family. I mean, most importantly I found you, but I’ve also found so many other great friends – I still am! – and we’ve all done so much together. I know these things will compile to give me the best memories of my life. Today, especially, reminded me of something, this time last year…

We were growing closer together, finally. We were already talking pretty much every night, sharing our lives with each other, instinctively trusting each other. The morning of this very day last year, I remember so clearly walking into school from the cars with you, talking about your prefecty stuff. Even then I remember seeing your perfectness and complete genuineness as a person. I was already in love with you, you know that. There were moments before that, but I like to think of that particular morning as sticking out as an especially important memory. It was the beginning of many things – of us, of this year panning out as it has, of us both finding new friends and both becoming better people. But, together. Always together.

So, see what I mean? It is you that has made my life how it is – actually bearable in the worst times and bloody fantastic during the best. I know I said at the beginning that I couldn’t put what you mean to me into words, but there you go…typical me, I’ve managed to eat half an hour of my life trying. I love you to the moon and back. You are my world (and my panda). So thank you thank you thank you. I’m forever yours.

And this will forever remind me of today.

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