A bit empty, really.

Thinking about this evening’s events, this song came to mind. Everything’s ending, slowly but surely – inevitably. We, of course, aren’t. But the looming possibility of not gaining residency and being dragged from here back to the UK is a reality. Hopefully you’ll save me. Hopefully I’ll be strong enough to stand up to ‘authority’ and tell it where to fucking shove it. But until things are decided for certain, we should just make the most of every day we’re given. It’s hard with exams and university applications and everything else that’s happening, but we can manage. My mind keeps wanting to liken this situation to the same thing 2 years ago with me moving here. But it’s not the same. It hardly compares. You’re different to anybody else, you mean a whole universe and a half more than anyone else ever could. So, of course, nothing in the world could make me leave you. I won’t let it. I’d cease to exist without you.

And l’autre song du jour (excuse the French. I got 10/48 in a test today so understandable if my Français makes zero sense…) Continuing with the Arcade Fire semi-obsession at the moment, this is one of their demos. I love the absolute heart and soul in the chords they use. And somehow, I feel like I really ‘get’ the lyrics.

One thing that did make me happy today? Your change of profile picture 🙂 I did love the one you had before of course, but the subtle change to a picture of us (even if it’s the one I dislike the most 😛 ) is cute. It reminds me that well, all this isn’t just me. It’s not just all in my head like some sort of fantasy. We are real.


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