OK, why?

Getting there with this Extended Essay (finally…final bloody draft’s only due on Monday…) but I was thinking. Why is it so much easier to convince yourself not to do something than it is to do something?

Like, take this flippin’ essay. As I’m doing right now and have been since December last year, I’ve convinced myself that I can put off doing it and have fooled myself with reasons why: ‘Oh come on, you’ve started it…you’ve earned a break.’ or ‘You’ve only got about 5 whole bloody pages to go…do the rest after dinner.’ It’s stupid really because now I’m stuck here rushing to finish it to a totally shoddy quality. And I know it’s dumb, so why?

It’s the same with other things in life. These holidays I’ve told myself so many lies.
• ‘It’s OK that you haven’t even started your WL2 essay…you’ve been doing your EE.’ – yeah, hardly.
• ‘I have a full bank account after transferring my UK money over to NZD so it’s alright to  spend $200 this week.’ – but it’s not really, is it.
• ‘Because I get home at midday from a friend’s house, I’m allowed to have a pyjama day.’ – in reality, it’s just laziness.

And I think that’s ultimately what it comes down to – laziness. It’s like the Doctor Who episode last week, ‘The Lodger’. Craig’s a lazy bugger with no aspirations who only decides to move off of his arse when Sophie tells him she wants to work overseas. Really, it’s like we convince ourselves that if we stay put, things will be alright. I guess it’s true to a certain extent – the less risks you take the less risk there is of bad things happening. But there’s some things you just have to do. I think I need to realise that.

Sooo, resolution for this term until THE END OF SCHOOL!!!!! – get shit done. I’m sure I’ve told myself this before, but I might try and stick to it this time. I’m not going to do myself a timetable because I never stick to them. But I will restrict myself to one blog post a week maximum, I’m already busy Monday after school, so I’ll allow myself one other night to ‘be busy’ plus Friday night. And every other night I can do work. Sounds like a plan 🙂

This is how I feel now, after nearly 3 hours hard-out essay writing. Just this once, I actually am going to leave the rest til after dinner.


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